I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
