You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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