ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
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