Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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