he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
