One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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