dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
