My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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