I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
