i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
