you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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