So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
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I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
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A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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