If i come over, it means nothing
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just googled if crying burns calories
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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