Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
