Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
