I think im going to throw up on grandma
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
