Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
