I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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