gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
