No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
