how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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