how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize