I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
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Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Pooping to opera.
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