I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
