Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
