can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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