I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
