So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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