Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
