it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
