She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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