I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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