It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
