maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
