Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
