Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
