Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize