Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
