at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
