Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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