I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
