The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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