My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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