I'm going to rape someone's good day.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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