when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
