sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
