Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
