Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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