Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
