dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
