They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
