I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
