I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
