Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
