WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
