I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
