So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He has the fingertips of a God
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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