I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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