he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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