Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
