Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
