I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
whose parrot is this?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
