she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
