I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
