Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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