absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
